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Anxiety

Saturday, 30 May 2015

In this post I just want to write it raw with little editing, written from my heart about what it's honestly like for myself living with anxiety. Maybe some can relate and maybe others won't relate. It's okay, it's a chance to learn and maybe relate. 

I hope that it is some-what informative to some of you. 


Where to start? I feel like I've always dealt with minor anxiety that most people may experience with exams and going for interviews. However, over time my anxiety got worse ever since my first Panic Attack (read link to read the story and for more information on panic attacks). It started off with worried thoughts as simple as: "What if I get a panic attack again?" and I used to always just make sure I took everything easy to ensure I never had another panic attack, it became almost like an OCD problem.

Then it got worse, I started feeling my heart constantly to check it was beating normally and making sure that I was never alone in case something happened to me. Not long after my panic attack I went through a short period where I didn't want to be even be upstairs alone just in case it randomly happened again and no one was there to help. I started to get more worried about small spaces, like crowds. I have never liked them, but it never used to be a big problem where I felt like I couldn't breathe and that tends to be how it is now. 

Anxiety and panic attacks are very much related but not quite the same. Anxiety is a feeling (a horrible feeling) where we tend to worry a lot and a panic attack is sometimes a result of the anxiety.


I feel overtime my anxiety has gotten a lot better, but because of the muscle tensions, I soon started developing chest pains which I know is from my anxiety and I got a trapped nerve in my left arm.

 I came home one day from college because I feared horrible 'what if' thoughts about my arm, "It's my left arm so there's something wrong with my heart" I did go to a doctor to have everything checked out and they said I'm healthy and nothing is wrong. Reassurance is always the key.
 I just keep reminding myself now when I get heart flutters or chest pains that it is purely because of my anxiety, nothing terrible is wrong- professional doctors have told me so. I strongly recommend you talk to someone if you have anxiety, seeing a therapist doesn't mean you're going insane and it's most certainly not embarrassing. I'd even recommend going to see a therapist even if you think you are perfectly fine because looking after your mind is so important and you can learn so much about yourself.

Recently I have been experiencing yet again ANOTHER anxiety symptom. Tension Headaches.
Again more "what-if" thoughts. The thing I have realised is, when we experience symptoms of anxiety it actually feeds the anxiety because you feel like something is wrong. Next time try and remind yourself that what you're experiencing with anxiety is NORMAL.  If it helps, get advice from your local GP and get check up if you are truly concerned, it may even put your mind at ease.
Anxiety is bad enough without having all the horrible side effects that come with it, but anxiety comes with a package and it is possible to overcome it.

Sometimes it all gets a bit too much, I try to not let anxiety take over because I am so thankful for each and every day and the amazing people around me supporting me. I am trying to accept it now and replacing bad thoughts with positive ones. I also believe in positive vibes, so if you have managed to read this far then just remember to spread kindness everywhere you go, you don't know everyone's story or what they are experiencing, be kind. Throw kindness around like confetti.




Moral of this is. I am proud that anxiety has been apart of me (and still is partially) because:
-It has made me want to start this blog; to keep me happy and busy.
&
-It has made me be more thankful and graceful.

...

If you have anxiety, I know exactly how you are feeling, honestly, I do. It isn't nice. But pretend you are holding my hand as I say this "you are fine! Enjoy your life and don't have any regrets."

Thank you if you did read all of this, I hope it was helpful in some way or the other, remember to always spread love to everyone you meet. I'd really like it if anxiety got more awareness, it's such a common thing that people have and it needs more attention. 





1 comment:

  1. Wow this blog has opened my eyes to anxiety. I can see you have put loads of thought and dedication into this blog and i can see it came from your heart and it means alot to you. I just hope people read it and share it so other people can see what anxiety does to someone.

    ReplyDelete

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